Machine Sleeping

I have always wondered if a man that I marry one day will be able to handle sleeping with not only me but my ventilator as well. I have been told by doctors that I will be sleeping with it for the rest of my life, which is fine by me because I have gotten used to it. Is he gonna be bothered by the noise or the hose wrapped around me on the outside of my comforter? I can only hope that the man I marry is a heavy sleeper that snores!

Taking Precedent?

So I have always thought about how my needs are always going to take precedent in a relationship that I have. Whatever activity he wants to do is going to have to be vetted to make sure I can participate. Any vacation he wants to take is going to have to be researched to make sure I can get around and bring all my equipment that I need. I didn't really realize that this would be another thing I would be taking away from a boyfriend/husband. But I know that I am always going to try my hardest to push my needs that aren't life threatening aside because I know that I want him to have as much attention in our relationship that I have. 

Forever Friendzoned

I am realizing that I am that girl always being put in the friend zone. I have a lot of guy friends that I talk to and hang out with from time to time but I don't think any of them have ever thought of me as more than their friend. Why is that? I wonder if it's because I'm just not their type, cause most of them are my type. Will I ever find a guy who woulnt put me directly in the friend zone? Will I know when that time comes or will I be so used to being friendzoned that I will not understand?

Fixing Myself to Wreck Myself

I was thinking about the last two surgeries that I can have in my life. I haven't had them yet because my parents and my doctors have left the choice to have them or not up to me. Now these least two surgeries would be to fix my knees and then my hips so they would be straight. I haven't really thought much about these surgeries in the past because I was young and told it would be very painful. But now that I have gotten older, I am thinking about it more and more because of how it would make me feel. But is fixing these last two things going to mess with my mind? I feel like if I got these two surgeries and then met some guy I would always wonder. Would he still have dated me if I hadn't had those surgeries? Would he still find me attractive with bent knees and bent hips? All I know is that I have plenty of time to process these thoughts and if he would not have dated me, I guess  I would never know. 

Comical Uniqueness

I realized today as I was standing on the edge of the bathtub today to reached the shaving cream, that I have some very interesting ways of getting things accomplished because of my short stature. I have to figured out all these interesting ways to get things done and I just don't know if any guy is not gonna be able to keep a straight face while watching me. But you know what, it's okay for him to laugh. As long as he's enjoying my company and being their for me whenever I need him he can laugh at my interesting ways of getting everyday things done. At least we will be laughing together! 

Never enough...

So I already talked about my coffee addiction but I have an addiction even worse then that! I love books!!! Lots and lots of books, everywhere and anywhere! When I am reading an epic romance novel I escape into a world where I'm not the girl with Escobar syndrome who can't find a boyfriend to love her. I am an amazing woman who is having to beat the boys off with sticks! So I just hope that one day I will find a boy that will not only accept my book addiction and the fact that there will be books all over our house, but that he will care about me just as much as my fictional boyfriends do!! 

Brother O Brother

So another incident happened at a restaurant last night that is not a new occurrence but none the less I have some things to say about it. The waiter asks me what I want to drink and then proceeds to bring it out in a kids plastic cup with a lid and straw. Now I have come to accept this situation even though I don't appreciate it because no matter where I go it is bound to happen occasionally. So I brush it off while several of the people I'm with continue to ask if I want them to tell the waiter to change the drink to an adult cup. Now I am not one for confrontation and I don't like making a big deal out of these kinds of things because then it draws unnecessary attention to me that I don't want. Well unbeknownst to be my older brother, who was sitting at the other end of the table, told the waiter to bring me another drink. Now I love my brother to death but this incident caused me to think about a lot of different things. For instance how is a guy gonna feel when we are out on a date and the waiter brings me a children's cup? Is he going to make a big deal about it to the waiter and embarrass me? Is he gonna be mad that I am not affected by this situation? Is the boy gonna be embarrassed that everyone around him probably will be thinking he is having a date with his little sister? Will he even want to kiss me in public or will he be to ashamed of me looking like a six year old? I don't know the answer to these questions, but what I do know for sure is this. When the day comes that I'm on a date with a boy and he gets embarrassed by anything like that, he's not the right guy for me!