Hunter of Food

I have an immobile pallete due to my syndrome so when I choke on food, it becomes troublesome trying to get it out. So because of that I avoid foods I have choked on in the past. Will a boy understand this? Will he be excepting of my picky food habits? I just hope he woulnt judge me to harshly on my Cheeto addiction! 

Fictional Man of Gold

I have been reading lots of books this summer and I am in this particular romance series that I am enjoying. All the books are pretty much the same cliche stories. Boy and girl date, girl falls in love with boy, girl tells boy, boy freaks out, boy runs away, and then in the end boy realizes he loves girl, boy runs back to girl , professes love. Boom. Happily ever after. Now each of these books throw in a problem that the girl has, whether it's that she's a single mom, has issues with her father, has issues with past relationships, or has issues with the boy in the past. I get to the end where the boy accepts these flaws and loves the girl inspite of said flaws. Now what I want to know is if my syndrome is a flaw that a boy could get over? Will a guy be able to look past my disability as if it were a past relationship gone bad that I couldn't overcome? When will a book be written about the girls with disabilities who don't know if their prince charmings are out in the world? 

Driving Him Crazy

I love to drive my car! I have it all adapted for me with the pedal extensions and the raised seat cushions. Now when my friends and I go places I always want to drive because I can't reach the floor boards when I'm sitting in other people's cars and it uncomfortable. But when I start dating someone I want him to be driving us places fulfilling his manly duties. I just don't know how crazy it's gonna make him for me to sit on the edge of my seat in his car while he's driving, cause that's what's gonna end up happening! 

Machine Sleeping

I have always wondered if a man that I marry one day will be able to handle sleeping with not only me but my ventilator as well. I have been told by doctors that I will be sleeping with it for the rest of my life, which is fine by me because I have gotten used to it. Is he gonna be bothered by the noise or the hose wrapped around me on the outside of my comforter? I can only hope that the man I marry is a heavy sleeper that snores!

Taking Precedent?

So I have always thought about how my needs are always going to take precedent in a relationship that I have. Whatever activity he wants to do is going to have to be vetted to make sure I can participate. Any vacation he wants to take is going to have to be researched to make sure I can get around and bring all my equipment that I need. I didn't really realize that this would be another thing I would be taking away from a boyfriend/husband. But I know that I am always going to try my hardest to push my needs that aren't life threatening aside because I know that I want him to have as much attention in our relationship that I have. 

Forever Friendzoned

I am realizing that I am that girl always being put in the friend zone. I have a lot of guy friends that I talk to and hang out with from time to time but I don't think any of them have ever thought of me as more than their friend. Why is that? I wonder if it's because I'm just not their type, cause most of them are my type. Will I ever find a guy who woulnt put me directly in the friend zone? Will I know when that time comes or will I be so used to being friendzoned that I will not understand?

Fixing Myself to Wreck Myself

I was thinking about the last two surgeries that I can have in my life. I haven't had them yet because my parents and my doctors have left the choice to have them or not up to me. Now these least two surgeries would be to fix my knees and then my hips so they would be straight. I haven't really thought much about these surgeries in the past because I was young and told it would be very painful. But now that I have gotten older, I am thinking about it more and more because of how it would make me feel. But is fixing these last two things going to mess with my mind? I feel like if I got these two surgeries and then met some guy I would always wonder. Would he still have dated me if I hadn't had those surgeries? Would he still find me attractive with bent knees and bent hips? All I know is that I have plenty of time to process these thoughts and if he would not have dated me, I guess  I would never know.